SUNNY SUNDAY

1. Three couples,one elderly, one middle aged, and
one newlywed, decide to join a particular church.
All three couples approach the priest and tell him
of their wishes.

"Of course we would love to have you all as new
members!!" He replies,"However first you must all
prove your devotion to God by abstaining from sex
for one week."

All of the couples agree to these terms and go
home. The next Sunday the priest approaches them.

"So," he says to the elderly couple,
"how did it go?"

The man answers "It was a cakewalk!!!"

The priest congratulates them and asks the same
question of the middle-aged couple. "Well, I
can't say that it was easy, I've had to sleep on
the sofa these last few nights, but we made it!!!"

The priest congratulates the couple and turns to
the newlyweds.

"So," he ashes "how did you guys fare??".

"Well the first night wasn't to bad, I slept with
my back to her, the second night I had to go sleep
on the couch, on the third I slept in my car and
the on the fourth I stayed at the office. But on
the day of the fifth, I was watching my wife get
a can of peaches off the top shelf and her legs
looked so good, then she dropped the can and when
she bent over to get it, it was more than i could
take. I lifted her skirt and banged her right then
and there!!"

"Well, son, while I can completely sympathize with
you, I am afraid you are no longer welcome in this
church."

"Yeah, that's exactly what the manager at the
grocery store told me!" the man replied.

2. A man was walking along the beach and found a
bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so
he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man
for letting him out. The genie said, "For your
kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have
always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been
able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships
make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a
road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No,
I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the
work involved with the pilings needed to hold up
the highway and how deep they would have to be to
reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the
pavement that would be needed. No, that's just too
much to ask."

The man thought for a minute and then told the
genie, "There is one other thing that I have
always wanted. I would like to be able to
understand women. What makes them laugh and cry,
why are they temperamental, why are they so
difficult to get along with? Basically, what
makes them tick?"

The genie considered for a few minutes and said,
"So, do you want two lanes or four?"